Thursday, June 12, 2008

life have been so 'fun and colorful' recently. i can't imagine how those geeks are about have study all day and not collapse. coping at home to study for the whole day is seriously no simple feat. those boredom, those sian-ness just make me feel like giving up. maybe im just not cut out for such task. hais. exams in one more week time and i still can't find my mood to study. worse of all i still have two more subjects to cover. but thats not the worse part, the real bad thing is that my heart seems to run away from me. in the past, once i set my heart to study, i can simply study for the whole day without complaining. and now, just one hour of studying makes me so sian and i just can't focus. those temptations proved too much to me. frends, tv, sleep.. i just can't seems to reject them and get down to work. they are constantly floating in my mind. why is this so? sometimes i really feel like running away, away from all those worries and frustration. but will this works? can i really find myself a world of my own?

theres one thing constantly on my mind. i've been thinking of this for quite a long time. why do we have to study? what's the use? one's working ability doesn't equate to your academic ability. and what's most important to people now seems to be your certificate. and true, i may be those that blindly follow such thing. but having heard from my friends from US, i find myself not being able to choose my own route for my future. unlike US, singapore has already shown you a direct and straight route for your future. we can't choose. what government say is the final. do we, small citizens of singapore have a say? i think i dont need to spell out the answer. i really really want to find myself a new route? can i don't follow this obvious and straight route. can i take the route not taken? But most importantly, do i have the power to do so? do i have the courage to even do so? do i? do i? sometimes i just very angry with myself. why cant i strive for what i really want? why do i have to be a mere follower? whats my purpose in life?

all these questions have always been in my mind. but can i find the answer? one day.. maybe..


gerald blogged at 8:49 AM


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